Women are from earth. Men are from earth. Deal with it.
And to help you do just that you have me. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend driving you crazy?...I'm here to help....for free!
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I was talking to a girl I had just met in Austin, Texas, one night, who was having a very common “He’s just not that into you” problem. She had met a guy at work who right away came on hot and heavy. They had sex on the first date and then he disappeared. Figuratively, that is. He didn’t go anywhere and they still saw each other. But the guy she met was gone. He was replaced by a guy who wouldn’t make eye contact, was grumpy and tired all the time, didn’t really want to have sex with her unless he was drunk, and he never made formal plans to see her. Oh, and he told her that she was the greatest girl he’d ever met, that he’d never felt this way before, and (you guessed it) that he was scared.
I wanted to meet him so I could put him in a glass case and tour him around the world with a sign that reads THIS IS THE GUY WE’VE BEEN WARNING YOU ABOUT. STEP AWAY FROM THE GLASS! I was very excited to reveal the newly minted “He’s just not that into you” concept. “She’s going to be blown away like the girls at Sex and the City were and on her way to a new and happier reality,” was my thought. However, as I was sharing my wisdom, I could sense some tension.
“How do you know I’ll find someone else?” she asked.
“I don’t. I just don’t see the point in being in a relationship that appears to be damaging and beneath you. You are really cool, obviously very cute.............”
“You don’t know me!” she practically shouted mid-sentence. “How do you know I can do better? You’ve only just met me. And why do you care anyway?”
Wow! She had me dead to rights. I was stunned for a moment but then I remembered why I’m doing this, and I said to her what I would say to you now. “I don’t need to know you to know at the very least you ought to think that way about yourself”
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26 comments:
Dear bianca,
Am in love with a girl who doesn't want anything serious with me any ideas what i could do to get her into a relationship with me....
Dear Syd,
She sounds like the perfect girl, you have what every guy wants why complain?
xoxo
B
Dear bianca,
is it ok for the guy to be toooo friendly with his ex???..and is it ok for the girl to be insecure and upset about the over-friendliness?? !!
Dear bianca,
I made mistakes in the past but right now all am asking is for a second chance is that too much to ask a girl i like a lot....
Dear Bianca,
I have after 30 years finally fallen in love. At which angle should I point the gun to ensure a quick death?
Dear Insecure and Upset,
When you say 'toooo' friendly, does he put her above you? As long as he doesn't and it stays platonic we have no reason to torch her yet!
In the meantime, you could find out why they broke up and get back to me.
xoxo
B
Dear In the Dumps,
What exactly do you want a second shot at? If she's not willing to give you a second chance you haven't proved your worth it.
xoxo
B
Dear Bianca,
A friend of mine recently professed her carnal feelings for me. She's the sweetest girl, and we keep running into each other at social events, so I can't really try to avoid her... All I want is her friendship. What do I do to get out of this conundrum without breaking her heart?
Dear Stressed Over Love,
Why this one is hard-because she's good friends with you and she may feel awkward post your confession. Having said that, the only way around it is to be honest with her, tell her you've never seen her in that light and that crazy, beautiful girls are not your type *wink*
Its gonna hurt, the key is to soften the blow. Call her after and be normal and ask to hang out so she knows your cool.
xoxo
B
Dear Bianca,
Thank you so much for the advice. I will definitely try and follow it to the letter. Your blog is a haven and an inspiration to us all.
Your ardent fan,
Stressed Over Love
Thank you very much Stressed over love, I hope you guys are okay!
Love,
B
Dear Bianca,
hmmm..yeah he doesnt keep her above me..but still !!
and yeah i'll find out and let u no !!..thank u
xoxo !!
Wel Mis Bianca I've sailed this life loving too many women and getting torn to shreds most of the time!!! My hope in love is gone and I dont thin I can c a futture any wher soon wit any woman.....
Dear Given Up On Love,
Heartache sucks! But if finding the right one was so easy then would you really appreciate it as much? Or you could just change your sexual preference!
xoxo
B
Wel Bianca sorry Il keep my sexual preferance...he he...And as for the relationships i've nt given up on love bt on the wat i want in a woman who i love!!! Cos i've alwys loved till i dropped and neva looked back!!!
Dear Calven,
You don't have to set a bar for a woman to meet, you will find someone who you will love for the person she is and she will love you back!
Untill then you can have all the fun you want, there are lots of fish in the sea.
xoxo
B
Dear bianca,
They is a girl i still have feeling for but i don't want to screw it up cause at this time we really good friend's we have dated in the past and it did not work out because we did not know each other that well but i now i do....Most of the time am wit her family and friend's just hanging out...Am still thinking should i ask her out at time's when we chat i tell her that see beautiful and she knows i mean it..The best part is when we fight over some thing stupid and she does not talk to me i go to her place with flowers saying that am sorry...and she knows i mean it...So tell me what should i do...
Hey bianca,
what should i get ma girlfriend for valentine's day...Any Idea's...I would also like to spend time with her just hope she not working on that DAY....
Dear Head Under Water
Valentine's Day is coming soon! Why don't you ask her if she would like to be your valentine, you guys obviously share a connection.
If you think that's too big a step for you to take, then just ask her out, on a date-dinner, movie, ice cream. Bring her, her favourite flowers or chocolates or candy. Ask her very casually if she'd like to go out on a date. Take her some place that maybe means something to you'll, that's not cliche, that represents something to the both of you, so that she sees you as that guy who understands her the best. This gives you a good opportunity to see how she responds to it. If she seems like it makes her uncomfortable then you can always shove it aside as a friendly gesture. Atleast you'll know you tried.
Let me know how it goes
xoxo
B
Dear Syd,
I don't know what's you girlfriend like?
Skype or g-talk with me.
xoxo
B
dear, bianca
i am already into a relationship...but my bf doesnt spend much time with me... he is always busy with sports or his friends and other activities!! but the amount of time he spends with me, he makes me feel he's all mine, but then after a point of time i feel i stand no where in his life.. wat should i do? is it going wrong?
Dear Missing Out,
I read once that love is not owning someone yet having them belong to you. You have to let him do his own thing and you should too, go crazy with your girlfriends, learn to dance, whatever you like because in the long run it will become crazy monotonous and suffocating if you spent ALL your time together. Yes, I know your so crazy in love even a lot of him is never enough. But thats what keeps a relationship alive-missing someone, wanting them when their not around, as long as he gives you his undivided attention when he should. Take it from someone who's been there.
Loads of love,
xoxo
B
ya true, but i am just surrounded with too many of my friends who are couples, i completely understood what u said above, but there are times when i see my other friends bf's treating them differently..i feel bad...
Dear Missing the Point,
What you have is different and what they do is different. I know a couple who barely spends much time together but they've been together for 6 years now and their only 20. I asked them how they made it work and they said by giving each other space. Most often you smother each other so much and your in each others face all the time which leads to alot of fights. Personal space is what is important in the long run.
Find yourself something to do, he's not expendable you don't need to be to. A guy appreciates a girl who is independent. Don't ever let your world revolve around someone else.
If you want to talk more, you can skype or use the g-talk id available.
xoxo
B
Dear Bianca,
I just lost a battle i've been fighting for more than a year with myself...
Do i hold onto somethin i love more than myself or not?? Do i wait, and pray for somethin that seems more likey not to happen than happen?? I held On and got news she was coming down..
I was excited but not too much..
Then she said she still has feelings... And I was beyond over the moon..
NOW SHE CHANGED HER MIND..
U know my story, tell me, how do i stop myself now, from spiraling into that depression i once was in..
How do I get sleep at night, without needing pills, booze, or falling sick, cause my body is soo sick..
HELP??
LOVE,
SLEEPLESS N BLORE
Dear Sean,
Sometime you have to let things take its course, you can't force love because its the most natural thing we know.
It could be that this is not meant to be, you are entitled the chance to find out but a little patience is in order.
xoxo
B
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