I was talking to a girl I had just met in Austin, Texas, one night, who was having a very common “He’s just not that into you” problem. She had met a guy at work who right away came on hot and heavy. They had sex on the first date and then he disappeared. Figuratively, that is. He didn’t go anywhere and they still saw each other. But the guy she met was gone. He was replaced by a guy who wouldn’t make eye contact, was grumpy and tired all the time, didn’t really want to have sex with her unless he was drunk, and he never made formal plans to see her. Oh, and he told her that she was the greatest girl he’d ever met, that he’d never felt this way before, and (you guessed it) that he was scared.
I wanted to meet him so I could put him in a glass case and tour him around the world with a sign that reads THIS IS THE GUY WE’VE BEEN WARNING YOU ABOUT. STEP AWAY FROM THE GLASS! I was very excited to reveal the newly minted “He’s just not that into you” concept. “She’s going to be blown away like the girls at Sex and the City were and on her way to a new and happier reality,” was my thought. However, as I was sharing my wisdom, I could sense some tension.
“How do you know I’ll find someone else?” she asked.
“I don’t. I just don’t see the point in being in a relationship that appears to be damaging and beneath you. You are really cool, obviously very cute.............”
“You don’t know me!” she practically shouted mid-sentence. “How do you know I can do better? You’ve only just met me. And why do you care anyway?”
Wow! She had me dead to rights. I was stunned for a moment but then I remembered why I’m doing this, and I said to her what I would say to you now. “I don’t need to know you to know at the very least you ought to think that way about yourself”